by Kayla Rodrigues
Today’s a good day. I wake up to an amber-orange sky. The smell of pancake batter freshly hitting the pan lingers into my room. Instead of getting out of bed with a cold shiver, the warmth lasts past my blankets unwrapping me. Hanging up in my closet is my new floral dress, whose sole purpose is to be worn by me. I arrive at school on time, not late. My teachers assign me minimal work, meaning when school is out I have time to enjoy the beauty life holds. Nothing could ruin this. Today’s a good day.
After school, I go on a walk along the beach to see more of what Mother Earth has to give, but instead I see you with her. Just like that my heart shatters. Memories I’ve tried so hard to forget creep into my consciousness. I remember you chose her over me. Feelings I’ve spent so much time trying to overcome floods over me like a tidal wave I never saw coming. My love for you still engulfs me. I thought I was doing so well, but my heart can’t be as easily controlled as my mind. I knew I loved you then, but I thought I felt differently now. How I hoped I could let go of the moments we shared. I was your friend and nothing more. I wanted you more, but you were my friend. Time passed and you still have me wrapped around your finger. A simple glance at you brought back a storm of horrifying emotions.
My tear ducts slip a tear I was trying to avoid. My eyes release the deadness I feel inside. I’m still and I don’t know what to do. Flashes of our past remind me of what we could have had, but I also remember that you chose her.
You said you never would but you did. You said she’s not your type so you must have lied. Your hands grip her side making me want to die, and I see no signs of regret in your eyes. You prance around town so blissfully with her with no trace in your mind of how it made me feel. I can’t see how the rest plays out so I turn around and hurriedly rush home.
Today’s a bad day.