by Kayla Rodrigues
Just like spring, our fresh buds bloomed. You seemed sweeter than nectar, but I spoke too soon. What you showed me was just a mask, but it was a mask that I wanted to last. You made me feel special, something most can’t do. You made me feel understood, which is everything I was looking for. You made me feel loved, but then again, these were all just feelings. You didn’t find me special, nor did you understand me, and you most certainly didn’t love me. You merely knew how to say the right thing to please the right girl, though I was myopic of your ways at the time. You were seemingly perfect, a perfection too good to be true. I let you spring forth a feeling inside I thought would be forevermore, but just like you, the seasons changed.
Summer was a time of warmth. I was beginning to feel comfortable in your trap. Your twisted lies and your welcoming disguise made me feel at home. Your radiant smile outshined the sun. I became able to smell the scent of your flowers from a mile away. Your laughter echoed in my ears. We were happier than the kids let off school for their summer break. Though just like the salty waves, this feeling washed away.
The petals of your flowers dropped one by one. I was no longer the girl who made you wake up in the morning. You found something new to entertain your eyes, a girl scented of pumpkin spice and everything nice. Your texts became short, in fact, they were shorter than me. When walking in the hall, conversation typically driven towards me, ended up in the grasp of your other friends. You didn’t even text me goodnight anymore because I was no longer on your mind. The distance grew day by day until you officially fell with fall.
The winter months shed a frost I was unable to bear. I never knew California could enter into such an ice age. Despite the texts being dry, I missed them. I missed having someone to report back to; I missed newborn buds, but I was quick to realize there was nothing to be missed. I was just a pawn in your game and you were the gamemaster. You knew every right move to play in order to seem like everything I wanted. Though you only seemed this way when you wanted to and once you got over me you no longer bothered playing the game. You tossed your old toy out when you got a new one for Christmas, but you did the same thing to her. You “loved” pumpkin spice girl in a different way. You treated her exactly the way she wanted to be treated. You study up on your victims and you lift them to cloud nine, only to let them plument from sky highs. Pumpkin spice girl went through the seasons as well, until you fell with fall again. I’ve witnessed all the girlfriends you’ve recast, and I’ve really grown to no longer miss our past. A cold, lonely sadness was replaced by a cold, deep hatred. You’ve frozen my heart and with winter it became ice cold.
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