by Brandon Truong
Welcome, esteemed reader, to my article. Some of you might know me around school. In fact, MANY of you know me around school. Why is that? Is it because I’m flamboyant? Do people only want to be my friend because I can give them answers to homework? Maybe it’s because I had the guts to try out for a women’s field hockey team, being a guy. Whatever the reason may be, it doesn't really matter. When my Freshman year started I had little to no friends. I didn’t conform to any social group and nobody knew my name.
At all.
So what changed? Certainly I did. So here’s my tips on what you can do to make more friends coming from your local high school senior.
1. Start getting active and involved
One of the main contributing factors to generating a social life in high school is putting yourself out there. I ran cross country my freshman year, which introduced me to friends I still have today. There is a place for you in high school. It might be in a volunteering club or the debate team (shoutout to Maya Coutts, R. 1054 every Friday). Put your interest and desires out their to attract a crowd. Nobody is going to know you if you don’t know yourself. Even if you don’t have the time to put yourself into an activity, find ways to introduce yourself in an everyday life. In class, you don’t have to be loud, but if you’re paired up with someone for a project, that could be another friend in the bag! Even if you’re walking alone to the back gate and there is another person walking alone, make conversation! It’s going to be awkward and even self degrading, but it’s another chance to meet someone new. Don’t miss an opportunity for a connection with someone just because your hiding yourself to the world. Embrace your life!
2. Be Genuine
There is nothing more irritating than a person who is out for social status. Unless you truly believe that this is your “true self,” don’t be friends with people for status. Being “popular” is something that we coined in middle school to hide the insecurities of puberty. So stop trying to be! If you don’t really want to talk to a person, don’t try your hardest to be their friend! I know this might’ve directly opposed my last tip, but be genuine in your interaction. Everyone will see right through a person trying to be someone else and it sucks. If you’re going out of your way to fake a ditzy personality, then that’s a clear sign to stop pursuing. Be yourself. You’ll find that friendship works more on a spectrum rather than a win all type style.
3. Don’t limit yourself to a “label”
Everyone knows the rich popular chick and her cohort of 50 million side peeps. This is how you set yourself up with no friends. Let's be honest. Most of those who are still trying to be “popular” haven’t grown out of the middle school mindset. Give everyone a chance. Nobody is “higher” than you because they are “cooler.” Don’t look down on somebody because they don’t hang out with you! Give people a chance, your next friend could be right around the corner!
4. Start inviting yourself
Now this one I even struggle with on a daily basis. If there are plans that you know are happening, invite yourself to it! That could be a great chance to connect with somebody OUTSIDE of a school environment. It’s not going to be easy to do. Especially since we live in an “invite only” campus. If there is a party or social event happening and some of your friends are going or you know a classmate who’s going, go to the event! It’s a great way to spend your weekend instead of waiting for people to invite you to things. Let’s be honest, waiting for people can be self deprecating as well.
5. Open Up
There is no better way to open up to a person, than heart to heart. Now there is only so much you can truly open up to someone about, but do it! I’ve gotten so many connections just because they know me beyond the “typical Asian peers.” If you want to discard your label and you want people to actually know your name instead of you’re appearance, open up to the ones that matter! It’ll be one of the greatest ways to connect to another.
Don’t think that having lots of friends is better than having two good friends. Build connections with people that make you feel good. If they don’t, drop them. What’s great about building connections with people, is that you can just as easily take them down. Wishing you all the best in high school!
Bilicious B!
Brandon Truong
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